You're human. And no one needs an excuse for that.

No excuses!If you are or have ever been significantly overweight and even in some cases, if you're haven't been, you probably know all too well the word "excuse". Sometimes it's just a little bending of the truth. Sometimes, it's an out and out lie. But, in either case, it's never harmless.

I'm talking about the "well, at least it's fat-free" disclaimer when you've eaten the whole bag. Or the "I didn't eat breakfast" when you have extra cheese on your burger. I'm talking about trying to convince people you've lost weight, even though you (and they) both know you haven't. "I'm doing great! I lost 15 lbs!" That's crap. And they know it. People may often be stupid, but they aren't blind.

Some of you may be thinking, "Who would do such a thing? I would never..." Yeah, well. Think again. You may be doing it and not even knowing it. Not counting the creamer in your coffee? Promising you'll go to the gym tomorrow? Insisting that PMS was the culprit for that pint of Haagen Daaz, but your period was last week? Those are all excuses and frankly, they are the worst kind of excuses. You're just lying to yourself.

You may think this is a little harsh, but it happens all the time. I still do it myself sometimes. "Oh, a couple extra bites won't matter..." and "I'll do some sit-ups during Oprah." Yeah. That's gonna happen. The bottom line is that if you can't be honest with yourself, or at least recognize when you're not, any attempt at weight loss is going to be even more of a struggle. Sure, you might lose the weight, but it might take longer or it might not even stay off, since you're in the Jasminlive business of self-trickery. You'll "one more bite won't hurt" yourself right back into Chunkytown -- and this time, you're the Mayor.

Screw what everyone else thinks. Seriously. If you haven't lost weight, don't placate them by pretending you have (or alluding to it, even). It's none of their damn business. Plus, when you really do, those people may be less likely to share your excitement, as they may not believe you. Did you eat the whole bag/pint/box/Costco econo-sized tub? What's done is done. Move on. Sure, you may feel embarrassed, sad, guilty, frustrated, mad at yourself, but it's gone now, right? All you can do is start again from wherever you are. You made a mistake.

Enlightened Smoothies

We appear to be a "smoothie people" here at the Donut, so in keeping with our recent smoothie-ness, allow me to review the new Enlightened Smoothies from Jamba Juice.

Damn, those are good.

While that does really sum it up, of course, I'll tell you more. I ordered the Orange Divine™, since the Orange Dream Machine™ is my favorite. But this was absolutely not even remotely close to an Orange Dream Machine. It was good, though!

This had orange juice, strawberries, banana and their "low-calorie Enlightened Dairy Base™". The 16 oz. was only 160 calories, .5 g of fat and had 3 g of fiber -- only 3 POINTS. Not bad, considering I usually order the 24 oz. Orange Dream Machine weighing in at 11.5 POINTS with 540 calories, 2.5 g of fat and less than a gram of fiber.

Then, of course, came the Boosts. I added a BurnerBoost (like I always do), which added no additional calories and a FiberBoost because I like to "keep it regular" (hee). The latter added an additional 12 calories and eight grams of fiber. woo! None of this affected the final POINT tally, though. Still 3 POINTS.

Now, for the not-as-good stuff: it's not quite as scrumdiddlyumptious as the regular smoothies. Of course, I've only tried that one flavor, so what do I know? Maybe it gets better. Not that it was bad, though. It was tasty. I think that was about the worst thing, though.

It's sweetened with Splenda, not sugar, so that's a bonus. (Though, there are natural sugars from the fruit.) There are "a lot" of carbs (34 grams), due to the fruit content, but that's one's own choice based upon what sort of dietary and fitness choices you have for yourself.

All in all, I would totally order this again. It was my breakfast after hitting the gym and not only was it cool and refreshing, it gave me that little oomph I needed after my chaturbate workout. And, it held me over until well into the afternoon. I think Jamba Juice finally hit the nail on the head with these Enlightened Smoothies.

I give these four and a half donuts.

Shove It Up Your Cheeseburger

You know those people who are all up in your business whenever you're trying to stick to plan (whatever that plan may be)? You know those people? "Are you sure you can you eat that?" or "Is that on your diet?" or my favorite, "Well, I was going to order the super duper fat-on-fat cheeseburger with double bacon, but I didn't want to tempt you." Yeah. Like I'm just going to lunge across the table and snatch it from you, you pompous shithead. Give me some credit, for cripes sake!

I hate those people.

It's up to you what you're doing on your plan. If you're doing Weight Watchers, things tend to be a bit more flexible. It's a lifestyle change, not a diet, so cheeseburgers happen. It's not like you are forbidden to ever eat a cheeseburger again. They aren't always the wisest choice, but they're not verboten and dammit, sometimes, this jasminelive bitch wants a cheeseburger.

Usually, I try to opt for a healthier choice: a gardenburger or a turkey burger. But, sometimes, nothing is going to be a cheeseburger unless it's a cheeseburger (though, I'd tend to skip the aforementioned fat-on-fat variety). So, I'll get one. Maybe I'll cut it in half and give the other half away. Maybe I'll keep the other half for the next day. Maybe I'll split it with my friend or order a kid's cheeseburger. Maybe I'll eat the whole damn thing. But I can because I am in control of what goes in my body.

If you've got the lifestyle change thing figured out, you can trust yourself. It's all about trusting yourself to make the right choices and have the confidence to know that you can have whatever the hell you want to have. Everything in moderation. If you know that 99% of the time, you've eat a balanced diet of good, nutritious foods, one freakin' cheeseburger isn't going to kill you. You exercise, you eat right and you will continue to do so after the offending cheeseburger. Tell 'em to sod off!

You don't have to answer to a damn soul except yourself. People think they're being helpful, they think they're being supportive. But really, they just come off like busybodies and skeptics. I look them straight in the eye and say, "I can have whatever I want." And if they persist, I thank them for their concern, but tell them it's none of their business.

You are the boss of you. Not your "helpful friend". And certainly not a cheeseburger.

Be Good to Yourself Day

Apparently, Friday, April 16th is Be Good to Yourself Day. woo! I read about in Self magazine and have seen it mentioned other places and heard it on TV the other night, so I guess it's a real deal. As real as a holiday can get without the bank closing, I suppose.

And I don't need an excuse to be good to myself. Tonight is going to be my April 16th, though, since the next few days are packed with social engagements, taxes and work, tonight is my only free night. In fact, I cancelled plans to make it my night. Mine. Me. Mine. Me me me.

Taking care of yourself is so important on the road to overall wellness. I think being healthy is a balance of being physically fit, eating a balance of good foods and mental / spiritual (if you're into that) harmony.

I've found over the last year in this process, yoga has become something I look forward to doing to unwind, as opposed as something I have to do to work out. Pedicures have become a staple in my existence. They make me feel pretty and when you feel good, you look good, you're happier and it motivates you to move forward.

I encourage everyone to take a "Be Good to Yourself Day", whether it's officially, this friday, or any day of your choosing. Go to a movie you want to see -- alone! Get a manicure, a facial, a massage... whatever you like. Take a book to the park and read leisurely without the phone ringing or your knocking on the door. Take a long, hot bath. Hell, rent a convertible and drive around town with the radio blaring.

Do whatever is going to give you a sense of relief. Of happiness... of indulgence. I don't care if you lock yourself in the bedroom with bad Lifetime Movies and the latest issue of the Inquirer. Just do something for you.

Homemade Pizza, Lightened Up!

Lately, I've taken to making homemade pizza. I could probably make it even "lighter" by using pita bread, but I've been using the Boboli thin crust and it turns out perfectly. I would never know this was a "light" option.

Ingredients

1 Boboli Thin Pizza Crust

18 slices of reduced-fat turkey pepperoni

1 cup of shredded Kraft 2% mozzarella cheese

1 sauce packet from Boboli (if you buy the Twin Value pack crusts, the sauce comes with it)

1 1/2 cups of mushrooms (I mixed white and cremini, sliced. I really like mushrooms.)

1/2 sliced white onion

1/2 cup chopped cilantro

1/4 cup of sliced black olives

1 medium tomato, sliced into 1/4 inch slices (you'll get 4 to 5 good slices)

2 tablespoons reduced-fat Feta cheese

1 tablespoon minced garlic

1 teaspoon of crushed red pepper

Instructions

Heat oven according to pizza crust package instructions.

Prepare crust by spreading the sauce and minced garlic evenly over the bottom. Leave about a 3/4 inch space around the edge for you to hold the pizza.

Sprinkle about half the cheese around the bottom, and add your toppings in layers. I put it in this order: sauce/garlic, cheese, feta cheese, mushrooms, onions (separated into rings), olives, pepperoni, then cilantro. Then I top with the remaining cheese, sprinkle with the crushed red pepper and bake!

It takes all of 30 minutes to prepare and eat this pizza from preheat to consumption. It's really, really good and 2 slices run around 6 points, give or take a point or two.

If you're kind of in a maintenance mode or looking for a splurge, this is a healthier alternative than full-fat pizza and tastes just as good, I swear. I'm a whore for pizza, so if it wasn't good, I just wouldn't eat it. Next time, I'm going to try switching out the pepperoni for grilled chicken pieces.

Any leftover pizza, I put in zipper freezer bags in 2-slice servings and free for the next time I want pizza. I got a tip from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy to reheat your pizza in a skillet so you get a crisp crust instead of the microwave soggy. I find this to work, but it's time-consuming, so I nuke for 1 minute until it's almost cooked, then crisp it up in the skillet. It's faster than reheating in the oven, that's for sure.

Calories: It'll vary, depending on what you put on your pizza.

Points: my version is around 6 points for 2 slices (believe it or not!)